Throughout today, you will feel the impact of past actions very strongly. This could include both pleasant reminders of what you have accomplished, as well as unpleasant reminders of what you haven't managed to do yet. Be prepared for pangs of sadness to pop up here and there. There is no going back, so do not succumb to any feelings of regret -- it is a waste of emotion. These negative reminders are examples of big lessons you have learned. Take a philosophical approach and carry on... *need to save this.. cox next time it gonna be my yuan dong li.. the thing to keep me moving.. =)*

today... de blog..tomoro den write.. LOL.. let him take my time till so late den reach home. damn tired ler.. ... aniway.. got new pics..=D

but overall.. its still a sweet sweet love for me.. till now.. =)

Mens are like... 

 1> Laxatives.. they irritate the crap out of u

 2> Bananas.. the older they get, the less firm they are.. 

 3> Weather.. Nothing can be done to change them

 4>  Blenders.. u need one, but u are not quite sure why.

 5> Chocolate bars,, sweet, smooth n they usually head right for ur hips..

 6> Commercials.. u cant believe a word they say.

 7> Department store.. Their clothes are always 1/2 off..

 8> Mascara.. they usually run at the 1st sign of emotion..

 9> Popcorn.. they satisfy u, but only for awhile

10> parking lots.. all the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped..

today work ok lar.. not very busy.. time pass also quite fast.. at 1st met him at carpark smoke smoke den went 7-11 he go buy maggie mee eat.. went back work.. and i dunno wads wrong with him sia... at 1st i told him after finish work come find him.. den he say.. aiya u finish work also neva straight away come find me.. sure walk here n dere 1st.. den i say neva norh.. he say he dun care.. aniway left 4 days onli... take transport better.. wan go aniwhere he can fetch u.. farking helll.. talk till like i really very gian take his car .. n very gian for him to fetch me home.. den after tt.. open my wallet take things, den he saw the photo i took with.. MING XIN OU XIANG.. JIANG CHEN XI...den he keep asking who.. but i shud have known.. we work nite life de.. who know abt all this things sia.. den no body know mar.. den he get like kinda aggitated talking abt him.. say things like.. see! no one know him norh.. hes not famous lor.. dun act like hes so damn farking famous norh.. no body know him.. why? ask him come fetch u home lar.. he got drive car not  etc etc etc... i ji tao pek chek sia.. den he keep so called sarcastily keep laffin at me.. den i say him back whisper in his ear.. den wad? i not like u.. can put u n ur gf foto in the wallet.. he say at least its practical.. den i say sorry norh.. i dun have a practical one.. den wad? put ur foto ar?? ...... .. den i went inside his pub to wait for him finish work.. while waiting was playing game machine.. den all the way quite ok de leh.. but when fetching me home he all the way diam diam sia.. den i break the ice ask him wad happen.. why look so angri.. he keep saying nothin nothin nothin... den immediately fetch me home.. also neva ask if wanna go eat or wad.. reach le just fetch me up immediately.. tried asking again.. again he said nothing.. den i say why ur face so angry.. he say neva and show me a damn fake smiley face.. "-_-)... den just walk away.. call him back den i hug him wanted to kiss him... HE TURN AWAY SIA!!! 2 times norh.. wtf... i dun even know wads wrong lor.. and  he just farking refuse to tell..  he neva tell how i know ar?? erm.. or probably.. hes being jealous of the foto bah.. lOL.. but i tink hes angri at someting he also felt stupid.. cox normally if he really angri at me.. on most of the situation.. he will just tell me.. but when times like tt.. i keep asking and he  say nothing.. must be... something tts not targetted directly at me.. hmmm.. but well.. really dun feel like quarreling with him sia.. afterall.. after today.. left 4 more days nia... why still wanna quarrel??  can we just happily enjoy the times instead?? sian 1/2 1/2...  tot he probably wun msg me when he reach home.. but he did sia.. damn happy.. =DDD

erm erm.. have been feeling kinda happi these few days.. didnt blog yesterday.. too lazy liao.. haha.. yesterday not very busy... but was kinda sweet.. he came to my pub n eat snake.. play pool with me.. again i lose to him, play with lucius n heng heng won.. den play with ah boon n lost.. den he went back.. but were really sweet cox we keep disturbing each other n playing with each other with quite alot of body interaction.. =D..we were smsing while working.. n when we came out to smoke.. i cant go over find him.. in the end.. at a distance where we can see each other... we were still smsing.. muahahaa... damn lame.. but seriously... damn sweet.. =P got abit high yesterday.. just abit.. went to talk to my lady boss to clear alot of our misunderstanding.. was really great tt we clear it up.. felt so much better.. when he send me home.. i ask if he meeting his gf later... den he say.. norh.. u lo.. my gf.. and i shoot him back by saying.. no leh.. im just ur good fren.. and den he said, why say so.. den i say.. becox u told others im just ur fren wad.. so dun say no nice... den he said.. u must be very hurt when u heard it... i say no.. why shud i... im just ur good fren nia.. LOL.. =X n we kept quiet all the way.. but he reach out his hand to hold mine.. small gesture.. but touching enough.. haa.. happi like siao.. reach our house downstair.. conversation beings with me wanting to ask him a few question.. and i told him to just tell me the truth.. even if the truth is hurting.. he say yes.. and ask if the tortise possess me.. wu la po shi.. SI WAN GE WEI SHE ME.. if u guys can remember wads tt.. muahahaa..
Me : tt time.. when u say wanna work near me cox can see me often... is true de or where u just trying to find a job.. and since i work nite life.. easier to find for u? 
question when halfway he already wanted to answer.. but i ask him to listen finish...
Him : of cox is wanna work near u to see u.. if not at aristo.. when i quarrel with the mummy.. they say wanna let me go far away place i dun wan.. lucky they put me at duxton nite.. still can see u.. and when tt time i wanna work bali.. they ask me wanna work wild hogs i rejected them.. cox i dun wan to be so far away from u...
actually all this .... i know.. i really know... but just wanna confirm.. cox got one time.. he say..he work bali becox of money not becox of anione..
Me : 1st thanks to u.. 2nd question.. sometimes when u call me.. is it becox u lonely n boring nothing to do tts why call me or was it becox u thought of me so u call me??

Him : of cox is tink of u then call u lar.. although both of us off.. but i will still tink wad u doing, where u went norh.. tts why i call u wad..silly girl

Me ; okay den.. 2nd thanks to u.. 3rd question.. when i say u later meeting ur gf rite.. n u answer back so what?? wad does it mean?? cox got two meaning de...

Him : from my point when i said tt is its not a big issue tt im gonna meet her.. becox its the time i wanna treasure n be with u.. so i felt we shudnt talk Abt her.. its not important in our story..

damn touching u know not?? lolx

Me : 3rd thanks to u.. and the 4th thanks.. thanks for ur sweetness to me n the care u gave me....=DD

well.. after tt he send me up..we stand for quite awhile.. den i ask another question again.. on thurs, can we spend more time tgt? but i hope tt its u who wanna spend time with me also.. instead of becox i hope u spend time with me... so u accompany me.. if like tt.. i rather not have u just trying to make me happy..,  becox if it does not come from ur heart.. its not worth it.. and i was telling him.. how surprised i was when i received his call last sunday... haha.. he just smiled n stroke my head.. talk to ken on the fone after tt.. miss him so much.. *muacks muacks ken... i really miss u.. give me a big teddy hug when u see me kae.. bwahahaa.. but make sure u bathe 1st.. =X*

SUNDAY... 25 deC...

wake up n went to vivo with my bro to meet lucius.. treat dem to sushi teh.. cost $66 ... ate alot... den lucius went to meet his fren n i shop around with my bro.. went to toy r us n bought 1 winnie the pooh.. n 2 tamagotchi.. bwahahaa... SO SURPRISED again.. tt he called n ask where me when im trying my clothes.. didnt expected him to call.. when talking to him i heard a girl voice.. den ask if he with her.. but he says its his mum.. which i believe cox after tt.. all the way the conversation no more hear the voice.. he n his mum went out roundings.. in 2 different car.. n i can hear the wind blowing damn loudly till i cant hear him clearly.. n i believe he wun called me if he were with his gf.. so can believe.. hahaa... talk awhile more den put down ler.. refuse to tell me where he going.. all he say is he go hiao nia..~~ haha.. den went home with my bro.. talk to lucius n pei ni.. and den rong rong..~~~ den went to sleep ler...
Currently.. after clearing misunderstandin with my lady boss.. n the really very sweetness of him to me this few days.. i tink.. i got nothing more to ask of... im not greedy.. n when i mean im contented.. im really am... 5 more days... den the sweetness will just become sweet memories.. but its better to have unhappy memories.. at least when i tink back... im not sad.. cox all the while... we were happy... not much sad memories.. n i will smile n laugh to myself whenever i tink of him.. so hope .. when he tink of me... he will remember all this sweet memories n all the silly stunt i did.. wish tt he will smile too when he tink of me.. =) at least.. i can let him smile when hes unhappy or angry or sad.. i just wan him to be happy.. always.. no matter what.. although u wun be reading my blog.. but i wanna say.. " i love u.. i cant promise u be the last guy i ever like.. but i can promise tt i love u more den anithing else now.. and i just wan u to be happy.. and to be able to find tt sky tt belongs to urs.. remember to have a baby boy as ur baby.. so u can named timberdaniel.. if not.. a girl u name her timberdaniel.. i tink when she grow up.. she gonna dislike u or giving her such a boi name.. haha.. =)"

erm.. wanted to blog yesterday.. but watch dvd till very late n forget to blog.. now i know why i need a blog.. i really need someone to listen.. but sometimes.. its really hard... n now i tink a blog can help me.. wanted to tok to my collegue.. but pei ni sleep ler.. n lucius is damn high.. went home wanted to talk to my mum.. but today she seems unintersted.. all she want to talk is abt her bf... n money.., farked up ..  19 years of living in life.. 1st time kena punch on the mouth by a guy.. chee bye.. my buddy birhtday but by the time i went over, he was drunk.. all he did was punch me.. lol.. n yesterday after he finish work, we went to eat.. fetch me home at 4+am.. and felt asleep till 6am.. which broke his record.. n he confess he was really tired.. n he hated such life.. i know he hate it.. i hate it when i dun have enough sleep.. afterall... he need to entertain 2 girlfren... go to the army.. n to work.. 24 hr is not gonna be enough for him.. haha... so  decided.. although we only left with 1 week.. for him to fetch me home.. becox he resigning at the end of month.. i decided not to be so selfish animore.. from tomoro onwards.. i wun wan him to eat with me.. n i wun wan him to sit in the car n talk to me ... once he fetch me home.. i will go off.. so he wun be so tired.. he wun sleep in his car... animore.. n so.. today.. when he fetch me home n wanted to bring me to eat.. i say im not hungry at all.. he seems so surprised.. he even asked  3 times if im sure i dun wanna go eat.. i said yes.. n when we reach our house downstair.. i say lets go.. dnkidnt even want him to spend time with me in the car.. after all.. one more week nia.. i need to get used to life without him animore.. no matter how much i didnt wan.. how much i wanted him.. i cant be selfish.. i keep telling my self tt.. i can neva be so selfish.. even if im gonna suffer.. but i dun wan to see him so tired animore... n i didnt know why.. when i hug him.. i cried.. he ask why.. but i cant give a answer.. becox i dun even know why.. im getting mani confusing mixed up feeling.. im so afraid.. once he is not working dere animore.. i definately feel lonely...n i wonder.. wads gonna go between us? there no ending.. no promise no future.. why do i hold on? especially after he resign.. he will find me probably once a month.. and am i gonna stay single all the way to wait for him? or am i gonna get myself another guy?? i dont know..so mani question.. he wants me to share with him.. i know.. afterall... we said b4.. i like him becox he tell me things staight forward n never lie to me.. and he like me becox of my honesty.. and we both felt tt... wadever unhappiness, sadness.. curiousity.. we shud say it out.. talk it out.. becox if we never say.. none of us will know how we felt.. n i  really believe in tt too... but i really cant give him a answer on why i cried.. god damit.. thanks god.. i got hui rong to chat with me on msn now.. if not.. well.. i dunno.. i just no longer wan him to feel so tired... even if its the last week.. im realy sad.. n im sure.. its not the alchohol working on me.. im awake.. im not drunk.. AT ALL...im really not.. 21 nov now.. 9 more day to go.. we took picture today.. n he look damn handsome..i look damn ugly.. without my make up.. hes really cute.. but im glad.. he seems quite pissed off today.. but i made him laff after 5 min of farking lame jokes.. haha.. =) felt happy.. felt got chen jiu gan..  if only.. he were mine... haaa..tink too much.. farking too much.. hes not mine.. n never will be.. i felt sad.. promise him i will diet down in this month.. but.. i didnt.., NOT a bit a all.. sorry... not tt i dun wan.. i really want to.. but... im sorry...